tim tucker dot org

I don't know anything about bass fishing…

Archive for category journal

Current Events

Mar 11

Posted by Tim in journal | No Comments

I’ve been going through a really bad depressive episode and my cocktail of medications is not working properly right now. That’s my excuse for not posting anything in quite a while. It’s been so bad that I’ve had to be off work. I really want to get back to work. I’m getting pretty tired of not having anything to do except lay around and wait to see if the newest cocktail of meds is going to work. Luckily my family has been very supportive through this whole mess, and that has helped a lot. I don’t get to see my doctor again until Tuesday, when we have to decide if the current cocktail is working or not, ( so far I’m saying no to that one ) and if necessary we have to decide what to try next. I’m going to push for the off-label use of Mirapex as an addition to what I’m already taking, as well as backing the Abilify back down to where it was at 10mg/day. ( Don’t worry if you have no idea what I’m talking about, this is mostly for me to be able to refer back to later if I need to. )

Tags: , , , , ,

Anhedonia

Jan 17

Posted by Tim in journal | No Comments

The reason I didn’t have much fun while I was in Cleveland is because I have severe depression which causes anhedonia ( the inability to enjoy things that should be enjoyable ), anxiety ( the closing of the Cleveland airport on Sunday really helped with that ), a complete lack of energy, and a few other “fun” problems. Even before I booked the trip I knew that my balance of meds was slipping. For some reason I thought that trekking out there and seeing my friends would somehow break how I was feeling and let me have some fun. Unfortunately it didn’t quite work out that way. Right after I got back, I got an appointment with my brain doc. He upped the dose of my Cymbalta, and also my Ritalin. Soooo, now I’m enjoying the side effects of Cymbalta without any of the benefits yet. The early morning nausea is fun and the day long headaches just can’t be beat. I think that’s enough self-indulgent whining from me for right now…

Tags: , , ,

The end of Cleveland

Jan 14

Posted by Tim in journal | No Comments

( My friends on Facebook know this story already but I’m posting it anyway. ) So following up my last entry, I went to the Cleveland Airport about an hour and a half to an hour and forty-five minutes before my flight was supposed to leave expecting to find mass hysteria since the power had only recently been turned back on. Much to my surprise I found the place to be almost completely empty. There was no one in line for security so I breezed through. ( It was easy enough to remember the process I had followed at O’Hare only the day before. ) There was no one waiting around most of the gates. Almost everything was closed. At this point I was thinking “okay my flight is still listed as on time, so I just have a while to kill.” No sooner had I sat down and started loading up a movie on my laptop, and my phone buzzes. Somehow I knew it wasn’t going to be good news. Text message, Orbitz, flight delayed by 20 minutes. “Whew” I thought, 20 minutes is nothing. Back to the movie. Jump ahead about 30 minutes or so. Another text, flight now delayed by over an hour. I start to think “this isn’t looking good for getting out tonight.” Another reasonably small chunk of time later, I see several people around me start getting up to look at the flight board. “What fresh hell is this?” I say to myself. Flight board indicates that we should see the agent at the desk to be switched to a different flight that is now leaving earlier than ours. As I wait in line I begin to wonder how we will fit two planes worth of people into one plane. Fortunately when I get to the counter I get a reserved seat for the other flight, NOT a stand-by ticket. As it turned out the plane we were moved to was MUCH larger than the one we were originally supposed to be on. We boarded on time, and after de-icing the plane I had a very pleasant flight back to O’Hare. We had to wait a decent amount of time for our gate to clear, adding to the overall lateness of me getting home, but I was just glad to be there. Overall the weekend should have been more fun for me than it was, and I’ll explain why in my next post.

Tags: , , , ,

Just my luck

Jan 10

Posted by Tim in journal | No Comments

Exactly as I predicted, I decided to fly to Cleveland ( where it just so happens I still am ) for the weekend to take pictures of the guys rocking RaysMTB. All the spots in the cars were full and I knew if I booked the plane tickets, that someone would drop out leaving a spot for me. And yes it happened. To top that off, when I went to check out of the hotel this morning I found out that the power to the Cleveland airport was totally out. Meaning that I didn’t know how I was getting home. For a while I thought I would have to try and cram in with the guys that had an extra spot. It turns out they had to take some extra stuff home so there wasn’t really space for me. ( I didn’t want to be crammed in a car for 6 hours anyway. ) As far as I know now, the power is back on at the airport so I should be able to fly home at the expected time. We’ll see how that turns out. For the moment I’m relaxing in the hotel’s business center playing on my laptop. I’m going to head out for the airport pretty soon since it will probably be a madhouse with the power outage and all. Wish me luck getting back to Chi-town. TT

Tags: ,

Um, what?

Dec 15

Posted by Tim in journal | No Comments

Yes I can hear pretty well out of my right ear again. The ENT specialist said it looks like the infection is clearing up. They want me to go for a hearing test though. I’m not thrilled about that because I don’t want to learn that I have hearing loss. ( Maybe I don’t, maybe I do ) At least I don’t have to take any more antibiotics. ( Those things suck. )